FtM Domestic Abuse

 

Analysis of Text

Aggression and Conflict

The father is questioning the son's aggressive behavior, which appears when the father tries to help.

The father sees this aggression as a result of influence from the mother and her girlfriend.

  

Parental Alienation

The son is being manipulated by the mother and her girlfriend to be hostile toward the father.

The father believes this alienation has led to the breakdown of their relationship and affected the son’s development.

  

Negative Impact on the Child

The son's refusal to go to school and his hostility toward the father are results of the mother's influence.

The son isolates himself in his bedroom, playing video games—suggesting neglect and lack of guidance from the mother.

  

Mother's Influence

The mother normalizes the son's harmful behaviors, neglects him, and does not encourage a productive or healthy lifestyle.

She perpetuates lies about the father, such as claiming he is abusive or schizophrenic, further alienating him.

  

Social Isolation and Gender Bias 

The father feels socially isolated because of the lies spread about him by the mother.

He also feels persecuted by the feminist movement, which he believes automatically sides with the mother.

 Research Studies

1. Impact of Parental Abuse and Neglect on Child Development

Studies show that emotional neglect and parental alienation can severely impact a child's ability to form healthy relationships, causing long-term mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and difficulties with emotional regulation (Smith & Thelen, 2003). The son’s hostility, refusal to engage in school, and reliance on video games may reflect symptoms of these issues.

Research by Gardner (1998) on Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) discusses how a child, under one parent’s influence, may begin to show unwarranted hostility toward the other parent. The child’s emotional bond with the alienated parent deteriorates, as seen in the strained relationship between the father and son.

2. Female-to-Male Domestic Abuse

Studies on female-to-male domestic abuse show that men are often less likely to report abuse due to social stigma, leading to psychological distress, isolation, and feelings of helplessness (Hines & Douglas, 2010). The father in the story is socially isolated and disempowered, unable to raise his concerns without fear of being disbelieved or vilified.

Emotional abuse in female-to-male domestic situations often manifests in manipulative behaviors, social isolation, and the undermining of the victim’s credibility, leading to depression and withdrawal from social circles (Moffitt et al., 2001).

Deconstruction and Story Rewrite Using the Eight-Point Arc

1. Stasis

James, a single father, lives a quiet life with his teenage son, Karl. They share a strained but functional relationship, both trying to navigate the aftermath of a messy separation from Karls mother, Darla. James hopes that with time, things will settle, and he will regain the bond with his son.

2. Trigger

One evening, after Karl refuses to come out of his room for dinner again, James knocks softly. "Karl, you need to eat. You can’t stay in there all day." The door swings open, and Karl stares at him with cold eyes. "Get lost," he spits. The words hit James like a punch, but he doesn't move. "Karl, I’m trying to help you." Karls sneer deepens. "I don’t need your help."

3. The Quest 

James begins to suspect that Darla and her girlfriend are encouraging Karla hostility. He recalls overhearing a conversation between Karl and his mother, the twisted laughter as they mocked him. “He’s just jealous,” Darla had said. Determined to salvage his relationship with his son, James tries everything—talks, outings, therapy—but Karl only withdraws further.

4. Surprise

At school, Karls grades plummet. The principal calls James into the office. "Your son hasn’t been to class in days." James feels a wave of dread. At home, Karl is always in his room, lost in video games. When James confronts him, Karl shouts, "I’m not going to that stupid school! Mom says it’s a waste of time."

5. Critical Choice

James sits alone in the living room, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. He realizes that if he does nothing, Karl might be lost to him forever. He must confront Sarah directly, despite her lies, despite her manipulation. The idea makes him sick, but he can’t let Karl fall into the same patterns of neglect Darla embraced.

6. Climax

James confronts Darla at her apartment. "You’re ruining him," he says. She smirks, her arms crossed. "You’re ruining yourself, James. Everyone knows you’re the problem." But James doesn’t back down. “He needs a father, not a life trapped in that room, wasting away.” Karl overhears the argument and storms in. "Leave my mom alone!"

7. Reversal

Later that night, James sits with his head in his hands. The confrontation with Darla achieved nothing. Karl barely looks at him anymore. A hollow silence fills the house. He wonders if this is how his life will be—isolated, vilified, watching his son drift away.

8. Resolution

Weeks pass, and James decides to file for more formalized custody rights. He can't let Darla control Karls life. He spends nights researching, talking to lawyers, hoping for a solution. Slowly, Karl begins to show small signs of change—he spends more time outside of his room, starts asking James questions. James knows it will be a long road, but for the first time in a long time, there’s a glimmer of hope.

Illustrative Narrative (Show, Don't Tell)

James knocked again on Karls door, a dull echo in the quiet hallway. "Karl," he called, trying to keep his voice steady. "Dinner’s ready." The door creaked open, revealing Karls pale face, framed by messy, unwashed hair. His eyes narrowed. 

"I’m not hungry," Karl growled.

James’ hand tightened on the doorknob. "You can’t stay in here all day. It’s not good for you."

Karl scoffed, the sound sharp. "What do you care? Just go away."

James stood frozen, the words hitting him like a physical blow.

James swallowed the tightness in his throat, forcing himself to stay calm. He leaned slightly into the doorway, his eyes searching Karl’s face for any sign of the boy he used to know. But all he saw was the wall that had grown between them.

"I care because I’m your father," James said, his voice soft but firm. "I’m trying to help you. Can’t you see that?"

Karls lips curled into a bitter smile, one that reminded James too much of Darla. "Help me? You don’t help me. You’re just trying to control me. Mom says you’re always like this—trying to make everything about you."

James flinched at the accusation, the words cutting deeper than Jake knew. He could hear Darla’s voice in those words, her manipulation dripping from Karls mouth like venom. "Karl, that’s not true. I just want what’s best for you."

"What’s best for me?" Karl laughed, but it was hollow, devoid of joy. "You don’t know what’s best for me. You just want me to be your little puppet, like Mom said."

James chest tightened. He knew Darla was filling Karla head with lies, but hearing it from his son’s mouth felt like being punched in the gut. "Karl... I’m not the enemy here. Your mother—she’s not telling you the whole truth."

Karls eyes flashed with anger. "Don’t talk about her like that! She actually cares about me. You’re just mad because she doesn’t want you anymore."

James took a step back, his mind reeling. How could Darla twist things so completely? How could she turn his own son against him so easily? His hands trembled as he tried to find the right words, something to break through the wall of hostility.

"Karl... listen to me. I know you don’t understand everything right now, but your mom’s not being fair to either of us. She’s encouraging you to be angry with me, but I’m not the bad guy here. I love you, and I want you to succeed. You’ve been missing school, hiding in this room... that’s not the life you deserve."

Karl crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, his expression hard. "Mom says school’s a waste of time. I’m not going back."

"That’s not true, Jake. You have potential, so much potential. But locking yourself away like this—it’s only going to hurt you in the long run."

Karl didn’t respond. He just stared at James with cold, detached eyes. James could feel the distance growing, an emotional chasm so wide he wasn’t sure how to cross it. 

***

James sat on the edge of his bed that night, staring at the darkened room around him. The silence of the house felt oppressive, suffocating. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to make sense of the situation. Every conversation with Karl felt like a battle he was losing, a war he hadn’t even signed up for.

The memory of Darla’s smirk played over and over in his mind. "You’re ruining yourself, James," she had said, as if she had done nothing wrong. As if manipulating their son, isolating him from his father, was all part of her grand plan. And now Karl believed her. Believed that his own father was the enemy.

James rubbed his eyes, the exhaustion weighing heavily on him. How could he fight back against the lies? How could he protect Karl from this toxic influence when Darla had so thoroughly poisoned their relationship?

He stood and walked to Karls room, pausing outside the door. From within, he could hear the faint sound of a video game, the rapid clicking of buttons. Another night spent in isolation, his son slipping further away from him. He raised his hand to knock but stopped short. What would be the point? Another argument? Another cold rejection?

James turned away, feeling a lump rise in his throat. 

***

The next day, James found himself in front of Darla‘a apartment, his hands balled into fists. He had to try again, had to make her see reason. Maybe if she stopped encouraging Karls hostility, they could repair the damage. Maybe.

When she opened the door, Darla greeted him with the same smug smile that always made his skin crawl. "James. I was wondering when you’d show up. Ready to give me full custody yet?"

"Stop it," James said, his voice low but firm. "This isn’t a game, Darla. What you’re doing to Karl—it’s hurting him."

Darla’s smirk didn’t waver. "Hurting him? He’s fine. He’s better off with me anyway."

"Better off?" James felt his control slipping. "He’s hiding in his room, refusing to go to school, and you’re enabling it. You’re making him hate me. That’s not ‘better off,’ Darla."

Her expression darkened. "Oh, please. He’s making his own choices. Maybe he doesn’t like the way you try to control everything."

James took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "He’s not making his own choices, Darla. You’re making them for him. You’re turning him against me because you’re bitter. And it’s destroying him."

Darla’s eyes flashed with anger. "Don’t you dare blame me for this. You did this to yourself. If you hadn’t been such a—"

"Stop," James cut her off, his voice trembling with emotion. "This isn’t about us. This is about Karl. He needs help, and if you keep pushing me away, he’s going to suffer for it."

Darla crossed her arms, her expression unreadable. "He’s fine, James. He’s with me. That’s all that matters."

James felt a surge of frustration and helplessness. "This isn’t just about who he’s with, Darla. It’s about his future. He needs both of us to work together, and you’re tearing us apart."

But Darla’s face remained hard, and James realized with a sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to get through to her. 

"Fine," he muttered, turning to leave. "But this isn’t over."

As he walked away, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Darla was watching him, her gaze heavy with satisfaction.

***

In the weeks that followed, James filed for formalized custody. He spoke with lawyers, attended meetings, and gathered evidence. He wouldn’t let Darla’s manipulation go unchecked any longer. It was a fight he hadn’t wanted, but one he couldn’t avoid.

Karl, meanwhile, began to show small signs of change. He spent less time locked away in his room, even asking James about his day occasionally. There was still a long way to go, but for the first time, James felt a sliver of hope. Maybe, just maybe, they could find their way back to each other.

The fight wasn’t over. But James wasn’t going to give up. Not on Karl. Not on their future.