Up Against It

 

Up Against It

ONE 

Today I tried using Squibler AI which has a function designed for helping to structure autobiographies. I thought it might help to structure my autobiography. I specifically expressed I require help with structuring an autobiography such as key life events which are dramatic scenes. 

I entered details about the impact of how abusive my mother was to me and to my father during my childhood. How she was angered and then overtly and covertly vengeful toward me for many years because I turned out to be heterosexual, despite my upbringing. For example as a young child she forced me to wear female clothes. My mother took my normative sexuality as a personal insult because it destroyed her political ambitions of becoming a famous lesbian mother of a gay son who she could use as a lever in the flourishing LGBT+ community. The extent to which she had exploited me involved ritualistic childhood grooming and paedophilic sexual abuse which took me many years to untangle myself from. 

Squibler took my information and wrote a charming novel about an LGBT+ boy whose supportive, single parent mother helped him to struggle through problems with his masculinity and his search for authenticity in a world where female rights and gay rights are suppressed. It is the exact opposite of my life story and the autobiography I had turned to Squibler to help me to structure so I could write it in my own words around the framework I had requested. 

My experience of Squibler AI is that it is biased and is working to an agenda. I am disgusted. I will never use it again. I do not recommend it.

TWO

I took a copy paste of the above to ChatGPT. My statements are italicised. 

Take the following and work it into the outline for a memoir 

Sure! Please share what you'd like me to work into the outline, and I'll incorporate it into a memoir structure.

I pasted the copy paste of Part One of this blog. 

This is what happened next.

You said:  Content removed

This content may violate our usage policies.

I hit the Refresh button on my browser. 

Now, ChatGPT had added the following; 

Thank you for sharing your experience. I can see how deeply frustrating and upsetting that must have been, especially when seeking assistance with something as personal as your autobiography. Let's build the outline around your real story, focusing on the key dramatic events, with a structure that allows for both reflection and storytelling in your own voice. Here's how we could approach it:

Memoir Outline

Title (Working Title): Breaking Free: My Journey Through Abuse, Manipulation, and Reclaiming My Life

Introduction: Setting the Stage

• Opening Scene: Introduce a pivotal moment in adulthood where you reflect on your childhood and the impact of your mother’s actions. Perhaps a moment of clarity or realization that motivates you to share your story.
• Theme Introduction: The main themes of abuse, control, identity, and healing will be set up here. This will also introduce the difficult subject of your mother's influence over your childhood and life, and the journey of disentangling from that manipulation.

Chapter 1: Childhood Under Control

• Key Events: Explore early memories of your mother's attempts to mold and control your identity, including forcing you to wear female clothes and her behavior towards your father.
• Psychological Impact: Discuss how these actions impacted your sense of self as a child. Describe the confusion and fear you experienced, even if you didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time.

Chapter 2: The Weight of Her Ambitions

• Her Vision of You: Dive deeper into your mother’s expectations—how she imagined becoming a famous lesbian mother with a gay son, and how your natural heterosexuality was a source of resentment for her.
• Examples of Manipulation: Specific incidents where her anger at your identity turned into covert and overt acts of revenge against you. The psychological toll this took as you grew older.

Chapter 3: Grooming and Abuse

• Dramatic Scene: Recount a particularly vivid, heart-wrenching moment of abuse or manipulation that exemplifies the grooming you endured.
• Long-Term Effects: Discuss how this abuse affected you as you grew up. The internal struggle to reconcile your own sexuality and identity in the shadow of your mother's control and expectations.
• Introduction to Paedophilic Abuse: Handle this part delicately, focusing on the process of realization and the emotional toll it took on you in later years when you began to untangle these experiences.

Chapter 4: Rebellion and Reclaiming Identity

• Key Event: Your gradual realization that you were not the person your mother wanted you to be, and how you began asserting your independence. Highlight a specific event where you took a stand.
• Internal Conflict: The emotional turmoil of trying to forge your own path, even as you felt tied to the manipulative dynamic with your mother.
• Escalating Tension: Her retaliatory actions as you pulled away from her influence.

Chapter 5: The Father’s Role

• Focus on Relationship with Father: Explore your father’s role in your life, including how he was affected by your mother’s behavior. Was he a silent victim, an ally, or absent in your fight for identity?
• The Broken Family Dynamic: The ways in which your mother’s abuse affected the entire family, with moments that demonstrate how your father responded to the situation.

Chapter 6: Breaking the Chains

• Key Event: The moment you truly realized you needed to separate from your mother’s influence for good. Perhaps this was triggered by an argument, a personal revelation, or a supportive figure in your life.
• The Process of Healing: Discuss how you started your journey of healing. Did therapy, relationships, or other support systems help you? What were the first steps you took to untangle yourself emotionally and mentally from the trauma?

Chapter 7: Building Your Life

• Finding Strength: Explore your adulthood and how you redefined yourself, away from your mother's shadow. How did you build a life that reflects your values, your desires, and your true self?
• Resilience: Discuss the moments of empowerment, self-discovery, and the victories—small or large—that marked your path to healing.

Chapter 8: Reflection and Looking Forward

• Closing Thoughts: Reflect on the long journey you’ve taken and the person you’ve become. What lessons have you learned about resilience, identity, and overcoming manipulation?
• Looking Forward: A note on your hopes for the future, and perhaps advice for others who have faced similar situations.

Epilogue: A Personal Letter

• Optional: Write a letter to your mother, reflecting on your relationship and all that has transpired. This could be a powerful, raw way to close the memoir, giving you space to express final thoughts or forgiveness—or the lack of it—depending on where your journey has taken you emotionally.

This outline provides the structure to tell your story on your terms, focusing on the key events