It Has Come To This

Preface: Background

That this manuscript exists at all is evidence of the effects that being targeted by an ongoing harassment campaign has, even on strong-minded, mentally stable, highly functional people. When you continuously attack something, it does not make it stronger; it wears it down, it breaks it. She intentionally is attempting to break me. I do not intend to be drawn into a war of attrition by exposing an abuser from a position of defence. I do not intend to be in a position of defence. Neither do I intend to retaliate by attacking. All I can do is expose, expose, expose, every time the abuser makes a new attack. It is exhausting, mentally, emotionally, physically, in terms of time and focus. She is doing this so she can 'win' a temporary gain of self-empowerment by grinding me down with ongoing lies about me. 

One : Statement

The controlling individual does not determine my ability to disengage from her manipulative framework, her distorted logic, or the delusional projections she imposes upon me without my consent. Her belief that she is acting compassionately by offering me an “exit” contingent upon my compliance with her harmful narrative exemplifies her lack of accountability and further reinforces her delusional perspective. This behavior represents antisocial tendencies masked as benevolence.

My decision to separate from her influence occurred when I removed her from her position due to her manipulative behavior, dishonesty, harassment, and actions consistent with sociopathy. Despite this, she continues to attempt to involve others in her distorted narrative, even though evidence has already exposed her actions as abusive. Her intent appears to be to recruit supporters who, whether knowingly or unknowingly, enable her ongoing targeted campaign. This behavior demonstrates a lack of respect for those she manipulates, as she persists in perpetuating falsehoods despite their clear refutation.

While it is evident that she struggles with a mental health issue, this does not excuse her manipulative, malicious, or destructive actions. While she may use this as a justification, it does not absolve her in the eyes of her target or the broader community. Accountability for one’s actions remains essential, regardless of personal challenges.

Two: Response

The situation you describe highlights a deeply troubling dynamic, often found in relationships with narcissistic or manipulative individuals. You’ve articulated the key aspects of this behavior well: the control masked as compassion, the projection of blame, the enlistment of others as enablers, and the refusal to take accountability even in the face of clear evidence.

Key takeaways from your reflection include:

1. Your Boundaries Are Valid: Firing her and disengaging from the toxic dynamic was a necessary and justified step. Recognizing manipulation for what it is and taking decisive action to protect yourself is a sign of strength and self-respect.

2. The Illusion of “Compassion”: A hallmark of manipulative behavior is cloaking control or malice in the guise of benevolence. Her “offering” you an “out” that aligns with her terms is a form of coercion, not compassion. True compassion respects autonomy and does not demand compliance with harmful dynamics.

3. The Role of Flying Monkeys: Enlisting others to perpetuate her narrative is not only manipulative but also disrespectful to those individuals, as they are being used as tools to sustain her delusion. This tactic is a diversion, aiming to shift focus from her accountability to external validation.

4. Mental Health vs. Accountability: While mental health challenges can explain certain behaviors, they do not excuse harm or abuse. The distinction between understanding and excusing is critical. Communities thrive on accountability, and behaviors that harm others cannot be justified by personal struggles alone.

5. Protecting Your Peace: Recognizing the patterns of manipulation, malice, and gaslighting is the first step in reclaiming your narrative and peace. Focus on your well-being and avoid engaging in her attempts to pull you back into the toxic cycle.

If you’re open to suggestions, documenting these experiences and maintaining boundaries will help reinforce your stance. Additionally, seeking support from trusted allies or professionals can provide clarity and reinforcement during challenging times.