Post-Relationship Gendered Narrative Weaponisation

Reversal of Victimhood and the Narrative Weaponisation in Post-Relationship Gender Dynamics: A Sociological and Psychological Perspective

Abstract:

This paper explores the psychological and sociological dimensions of narrative control following the end of intimate relationships, particularly in the context of male–female dynamics. Drawing on theories of gaslighting, identity politics, and social scripting, we examine how post-breakup narratives may disproportionately frame men as abusers when they engage in emotional self-defense, revealing an underlying reinforcement of misandric tropes in contemporary discourse. This behavior reflects broader cultural patterns of accountability deflection and emotional manipulation under the guise of empowerment narratives.

Introduction:

In modern gender discourse, interpersonal relationships are increasingly framed through politicized lenses. While toxic relationships exist on all sides, men who assert boundaries or end relationships are often subject to retrospective narrative inversion—portrayed as villains or abusers even when distancing themselves from dysfunctional behavior. This pattern reveals a troubling social phenomenon where self-defense is recast as aggression, and male emotional subjectivity is dismissed.

Theoretical Framework:

Gaslighting and Reversal of Reality:

Gaslighting, a psychological manipulation tactic, involves convincing someone that their reality is false (Stern, 2007). When men leave toxic partners and are subsequently labeled as abusers, this constitutes social gaslighting on a collective scale.

The Reversal of Victimhood:

Baumeister (1997) highlights that groups may redefine themselves as victims to gain moral leverage. In post-breakup dynamics, this can manifest in the weaponisation of feminist language to shield personal accountability.

Misandry and the Male as Perpetual Aggressor:

Nathanson & Young (2001) argue that societal narratives often frame men as disposable or inherently violent. When combined with subjective truth-claims post-breakup, this creates an ecosystem of normalized misandry.

Case Analysis:

A man leaves a toxic partner due to repeated emotional manipulation. Her post-breakup narrative recasts this act as “her escape” from his toxicity. Friends and support networks adopt her version. When he articulates his experience, he is labeled a misogynist or abusive.

This outcome reflects:

• A denial of male emotional autonomy.

• A social script that delegitimizes male victimhood.

• Collective gaslighting when subjective truths override observed behavior.

Discussion:

Such post-relationship reframing fosters a broader climate of fear and suppression for male voices, discouraging accountability across all genders. The conflation of emotional expression with abuse undermines nuanced dialogue and perpetuates gender-based antagonism.

Conclusion:

Cultural scripts must evolve to recognize the complexity of human behavior outside of ideological binaries. Truth in personal relationships is often multifaceted, and any system that systemically favors one narrative over another risks becoming authoritarian in its emotional expectations.

Indexed List of Related Sources

1. Stern, R. (2007). The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life. Morgan Road Books.

2. Baumeister, R. F. (1997). Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty. Henry Holt & Co.

3. Nathanson, P., & Young, K. (2001). Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture. McGill-Queen’s University Press.

4. Gilligan, C. (1982). In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women’s Development. Harvard University Press.

5. Foucault, M. (1978). The History of Sexuality: An Introduction. Pantheon Books.

6. Frankfurt, H. (2005). On Bullshit. Princeton University Press.

7. Haidt, J. (2012). The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion. Pantheon Books.

8. Peterson, J. (1999). Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief. Routledge.