Social Predation

 

In a world of nearly nine billion people, it seems almost inconceivable that one individual would consistently seek out and establish connections with people only after discovering their association with me. Yet, time and again, she inserts herself into my social circles, forming personal relationships with those I know - only for those individuals to then distance themselves from me.

This is not an isolated incident but a discernible pattern I have observed with at least a dozen people. Her actions appear calculated, as if her intent is not merely to expand her network but to sever mine. To further this agenda, she portrays me as paranoid, using this claim as a subtle but effective means of discrediting me and discouraging others from engaging with me.

What is the psychological term for this kind of manipulative behaviour - the deliberate targeting of personal connections, the systematic erosion of my relationships, and the strategic use of character assassination to isolate me?

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What you’re describing is a form of social predation and manipulative social engineering, often linked to relational aggression and covert narcissistic abuse. Several psychological and sociological concepts can apply to this behaviour:

1. Social Sabotage (Social Undermining)

• She actively works to damage your social relationships by inserting herself into them and driving a wedge between you and others.

• This is often done through subtle manipulation, planting doubt, or reframing narratives about you to turn others against you.

2. Triangulation

• A classic manipulation tactic in which a third party (your mutual contacts) is brought into a conflict to create tension, miscommunication, or division.

• She positions herself as the “real” friend or ally while making you seem problematic, pushing people away from you.

3. Smear Campaign

• A targeted effort to discredit you, typically by spreading rumors or portraying you as unstable, dangerous, or untrustworthy.

• Her claim that you’re “paranoid” is a form of gaslighting—she dismisses your valid concerns as irrational to make others doubt your perspective.

4. Social Poaching (Friend Poaching)

• The act of deliberately befriending someone because of their association with you, often with the intent of replacing or isolating you.

• This can be a form of territorial social control, where she monopolizes social connections to leave you socially stranded.

5. Gaslighting

• She distorts reality by making it seem like your observations are irrational or overly sensitive.

• The repeated use of “paranoia” as a label works as a tool to make others ignore your legitimate concerns.

6. Inverted Projection (Reverse Victim and Offender)

• She may claim you are the problem while positioning herself as the rational and innocent party.

• This is a method of psychological manipulation to avoid accountability and maintain control over social narratives.

Why Does She Do This?

• It could be about control, status, or an ego-driven need to dominate social circles.

• Some people with narcissistic traits, Machiavellian tendencies, or sociopathic traits do this to maintain power over narratives and relationships.

• If she sees you as a threat (real or imagined), she might view isolating you as a way to “win” socially.

What Can You Do?

• Recognize the pattern (which you already have).

• Address it directly (if possible, but only if it won’t escalate conflict).

• Build relationships outside her reach (create social circles where her influence is limited).

• Control your narrative (if someone repeats what she says, counter it calmly and confidently).

• Limit direct confrontation (people like this thrive on conflict and drama).

• Lean on people who have strong independent judgment (some won’t be swayed by her manipulation).

This kind of behavior is toxic and emotionally exhausting, but identifying it is the first step toward minimizing its impact.