Who Am I Today? 1/3

 

Who Am I Today? 1/3

My Sons Mother

Over the years, she has shifted from advocating for women’s rights and personal autonomy—including the right to make decisions that led to her drug addiction—to fiercely rejecting any suggestion that she prioritise her child’s well-being over a cycle of self-destructive behaviour. When I pointed out that her alcoholism and self-abuse were harming our child, she accused me of being a misogynist trying to control a woman, and her support group uncritically accepted her claims.

Now, however, as the consequences of her actions have become undeniable, she has reversed her narrative. She is now telling people that I am a weak man for failing to protect her and our child from the very vices she once defended as her personal choices. According to her, it was my responsibility as a man to prevent her from destroying her own life.

She cannot interact with me without instigating conflict, seemingly for the sake of drama. In her effort to “smash the patriarchy,” she has made numerous false reports to the police about me. Despite the lack of truth in these allegations, the police are obligated to investigate, yet they refuse to intervene or discourage her from continuing these false claims. Instead, they appear to operate under the assumption that she is a vulnerable woman facing oppression, choosing to wait for supposed evidence against me rather than acknowledging the reality of the situation.

This is an example of female-to-male domestic abuse, but it exists within a community that refuses to acknowledge that such abuse even happens. Any man who presents evidence— as I have done—is met with accusations of being an oppressive misogynist who must be silenced, persecuted, or punished simply for defending himself and his child from a pathologically abusive person.

I have endured this for 15 years. However, the situation seems to be shifting, as she is no longer as much of a threat, having suffered a stroke after overdosing on pharmaceutical drugs mixed with vodka. As a result, I am beginning to heal from the trauma and reclaim my life, no longer having to constantly defend myself against her latest manipulations. Ironically, she herself has referred to her actions as a “game,” which speaks volumes about her mindset.