Identity Reclamation in Context

Boundary Formation and Identity Reclamation in the Context of Complex Trauma and Neurodivergence: A Narrative Inquiry

Abstract

This qualitative reflection explores the intersection of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and autism in the formation of intimate relationships. The narrator recounts repeated relational patterns involving emotional overextension, mischaracterization, and coercive dynamics. Through a process of personal healing, the individual articulates a revised relational philosophy grounded in mutuality, embodied exploration, and boundary clarity. This case highlights the therapeutic value of narrative construction for neurodivergent individuals with trauma histories and illustrates how gendered social scripts may distort attempts at boundary enforcement.

Discussion

The relational behaviors described resonate with well-documented trauma responses—particularly fawning and over-functioning. In this context, the individual’s historical patterns of acquiescing to demanding relational dynamics reflect a dysregulated attachment style, potentially exacerbated by autism-related difficulties in reading emotional subtext. Of note is the critical misinterpretation of boundary-setting as hostility, a phenomenon sometimes described as “gaslight invalidation,” where asserting needs is reframed as aggression.

Over time, the narrator initiates a process of personal recalibration. This involves rejecting previously internalized expectations of relational martyrdom and instead seeking partnerships founded on shared physical intimacy and emotional reciprocity. By naming their desires and vulnerabilities, the individual challenges sociocultural narratives that stigmatize assertiveness—particularly in men—while also detaching from emotionally transactional dynamics.

The narrative underlines the need for more nuanced understandings of how trauma and neurodivergence co-shape interpersonal experiences and the healing potential of narrative identity work for survivors.

Related Sources 

1. “The Body Keeps the Score” – Bessel van der Kolk
2. “Attached” – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
3. “Neurotribes” – Steve Silberman
4. “The Myth of Normal” – Gabor Maté
5. “Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving” – Pete Walker
6. “The Drama of the Gifted Child” – Alice Miller
7. “Hold Me Tight” – Dr. Sue Johnson
8. “Unmasking Autism” – Devon Price